It’s SUMMER!!! and I have had to drag my kids on my many missions and excursions including the supermarket, home improvement store but for today’s expedition it was the kinky and kitchy suburban shopping mall staple, Spencer’s.
Not only have I not set foot in this store since the late 1990s but I have not been there with kids under foot. In case you haven’t been there in quite some time, not much has changed in the variety of tacky and unique inventory. For instance, for a mere $29.95 you too can have a beer pong raft. I, ummm checked the price for a friend. And if you can recall, the inventory gets even “kinkier” as you venture farther into the bowels of this retail establishment.
However, what has changed is that I now have children AND ONE THAT CAN READ! Before I had the chance to come to this realization it was too late for us. My ears tune into my six-year-old son reading the following message slowly on a t-shirt. “ If you can read this, you are too..., his voice trails off and before I can distract him with the Angry Bird stuffed animals hanging from a makeshift zip line over our heads, he begins sounding out the first letter through his new adult chompers-too big to fit his mouth. The first letter “F” comes easy then “u” then the rest of the phrase...”fucking close.” I couldn’t have been prouder.
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